Forget Regret or Life is Yours to Miss

My regret from 4½ years ago have vanished.

Since 2008, my biggest regret in life turned out to be that I did not attend college straight out of high school. I messed up during my senior year. I failed a few classes because I was having way too much fun to even care about school. I believe they call this "senioritis". I waited till 2011 to receive my GED & begin my college online classes. I know this may sound dramatic, but I've never been the "regretful" type. I don't have skeletons in my closet, nor do I have a troubled past to regret. I considered this to be my biggest mistake. Clearly I'm not perfect, but I've lived a decent life. Skipping college was never part of the plan.

This regret only worsened in May of 2012. Many of my old friends from high school were graduating from University. That could have been me. That's all I could think of. Me, me, me. I was happy for them, but I also wondered where I would have been at the moment if I had started college when they did. I would have went on to grad school & possibly started work at an elementary school. I felt like I had fallen behind & I felt like an absolute failure even though I was in college. I hated this feeling.

Recently I've come to realize that those years of me "procrastinating" to start college were not a complete waste of time. I spent quality time with family & friends. I worked on my novel. I painted some of my most beautiful paintings. My photography improved through practice & photo shoots. I explored. I became quite the autodidact. I had the time of my life. I found out who I am & who I want to be. I loved, I laughed, I lived. My faith was renewed. I would not trade any of this for a college experience because I know it would not have been the same.

I have so much to look forward to in the near future. Traveling to England, getting my acceptance letter to a Florida University, moving to another city & meeting new people. Many adventures await me! This is exciting! Carrying around that regret would just be selfish at this point. I feel as though my youth has been extended by three years since I can't start my career right away. There are pros & cons to what could've been & what is, but I am choosing to only look at the positives of my reality.

I never knew how heavy regrets were until I let this one go. Life won't always turn out the way I have planned. I need to lighten up & stop taking myself so seriously. I am too in control.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." - Proverbs 16:9

Perhaps God saved me from making a huge mistake, or maybe He saved me from a fatal accident or meeting the wrong person. Truth is, I'll never know how my life would have been if I had attended college in 2008. My timing simply wasn't His & I find comfort in that. I will end this with beautiful lyrics from RENT which I hope can inspire all of you, "Forget regret or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today." ♥